I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
