HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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