Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Alcohol?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Sex with a fat chick.

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  (601): How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next? (318): Alcohol? (601): Sex with a fat chick. http://tfl.nu/6g9z
  Replies (16) Good night (949) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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  (941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie http://tfl.nu/ovq9
  Replies (16) Good night (953) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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  (901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52
  Replies (11) Good night (2452) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think my fart just growled at me.

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  (203): I think my fart just growled at me. http://tfl.nu/gjsq
  Replies (7) Good night (1143) Bad night (2251)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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  (541): we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people. http://tfl.nu/d8wc
  Replies (24) Good night (7422) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (10053) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.

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  (307): These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line. http://tfl.nu/f42j
  Replies (2) Good night (1874) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

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  (503): I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours. http://tfl.nu/1oq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1617) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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  (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. http://tfl.nu/m8zb
  Replies (18) Good night (3878) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted

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  (540): I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted http://tfl.nu/dbr2
  Replies (6) Good night (1271) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that

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  (262): Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that http://tfl.nu/fjxw
  Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...

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  (605): "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in... http://tfl.nu/n5vg
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  The pool is covered.....

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Like that would stop me.

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  (781): Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool (1-781): The pool is covered..... (781): Like that would stop me. http://tfl.nu/tch5
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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  (602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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  (325): I put a zucchini in my pussy for you http://tfl.nu/c2jl
  Replies (8) Good night (470) Bad night (602)

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