actually, I'm a sock model
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.