Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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  (850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot
  Replies (80) Good night (4243) Bad night (853)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.

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  (774): his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW. http://tfl.nu/joal
  Replies (23) Good night (969) Bad night (5525)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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  (479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp
  Replies (19) Good night (1166) Bad night (2283)
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  (714): View more from California

  after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles

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  (714): after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles http://tfl.nu/o8dc
  Replies (13) Good night (5806) Bad night (969)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

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  (314): Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one. http://tfl.nu/fj7c
  Replies (7) Good night (8919) Bad night (1160)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts

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  (403): i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts http://tfl.nu/x8b0
  Replies (10) Good night (4902) Bad night (870)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.

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  (919): Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room. http://tfl.nu/3ukp
  Replies (28) Good night (9951) Bad night (1204)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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  (203): I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole. http://tfl.nu/9iug
  Replies (17) Good night (1467) Bad night (3376)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.

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  (515): trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point. http://tfl.nu/fff7
  Replies (19) Good night (2591) Bad night (1175)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex

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  (985): Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex http://tfl.nu/n4wf
  Replies (4) Good night (1615) Bad night (860)
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  (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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  (805): I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up. http://tfl.nu/2z9h
  Replies (10) Good night (2004) Bad night (774)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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  (773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn
  Replies (7) Good night (2039) Bad night (780)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.

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  (787): Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now. http://tfl.nu/rhtn
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (576)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.

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  (201): The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh. http://tfl.nu/kyoe
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (309)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.

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  (804): he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger. http://tfl.nu/pdqt
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (122)

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