...so i touched it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.