eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
