Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
