The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
