Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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