is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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