I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
sex in a hospital.. check
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
