Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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