so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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