My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The power of my boobs compel you
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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