how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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