i wish my penis had a tongue
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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