we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
