just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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