Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
