I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
