dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
is that a dick in a sweater?
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