Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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