Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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