what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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