butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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