Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
