Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
