How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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