Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
