Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
