She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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