Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
