I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
