but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
where does the pee come out of this thing
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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