like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
