i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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