What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize