so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
