So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize
