He asked to "fluff my boner.."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
