Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
