Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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