Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
