so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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