I love black thongs
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
