We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's blow job season.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
