i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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