New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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