I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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