Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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