In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
