I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
