bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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