found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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