After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So much rum. So many feels.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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