i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
