Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
