She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
