we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
