Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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