I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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